Dating in 2011: Part One

Dear Male Inhabitants of San Francisco,
I no longer find your laid back smile charming enough to disguise your laziness in the dating world. I hate that I just used the term “dating world” but let's get serious, I am not the only one gliding between real life and the life behind door number one, two, or thirty. I am merely another single gal in my gaggle of similarly funny, attractive, intelligent friends. And maybe it isn't our first choice to be single, maybe we secretly want to be one of those women perusing bridal magazines while waiting for our name to be called, but we are certainly not desperate or resigned and we do not and will not settle. Yeah, you are cute. Yeah, you recycle and you eat organic foods and you maybe do a little writing on the side. Maybe you have even begun to listen to your mum about “settling down”, now that you are approaching forty and perhaps do not have as many single buddies that want to hit the town on a work night. So you start dating, whether it be through the online route or through the tried and true jostle and slosh at the neighborhood bar. You text me because calling is not your thing, and you suggest we meet at the cafe around the corner from your house. We meet and we go Dutch, because either you can't afford my three dollar hot chocolate or more likely because you are banking on my liberal-minded clutch on feminine equality keeping me from calling you out on your cheap-ass move. You talk about yourself, about your job and about that year you left it all behind to just ride and smoke foreign cigarettes and exxxx-peeer-eeeee-ennce life. You throw in a few “What do you think about that?” type questions for good measure. It is obvious someone at one time told you it is polite to ask a girl questions, but it is also obvious that “active listening” is not your forte. You smile some more and maybe rub your unshaven face as you try not to be distracted by the cute dogwalker bounding by with a rainbow of leashes in her hand. When I get up to leave, you ask if I want to come check out your place that is just around the corner. And the thing is, maybe some girls fall for that or acquiesce because you touched their arm just right and what is a quick jaunt around the corner but just an easy extension of the date. And frankly, a little excitement could maybe redeem the hour spent wondering why if San Francisco is so full of transplants from other areas, the guys all end up being so alike and so predictable.
I am unimpressed, gentlemen. I love my home in San Francisco, and I love my connections and my parks and my friends and my family, but it does not pain me to say “goodbye” to the boys I have dated or the boys of my future had I remained.
A Confident, successful, beautiful, smart Girl that knows what and who she wants.