Dating in 2011: Let me Translate

I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
Or: It's becoming obvious we're not on the same page. Would you mind flipping to mine?
Or: I want this to appear like a mutual decision, and I hope you fall for it.
Or: I thought we'd discussed this already, but it appears you need to be schooled again.
Or: So, listen, open up and expose what you are feeling (I will take it in), then sit back and accept how I want things to be.
Or: Do you like me? Then nod and agree, “Totally, we're totally on the same page”.
Or: I've thought about your side, and I still like my side better.
Or: This is my bandwagon. You should jump on it.
Or: I'm trying to sound sincere, because I am sincere, and now I am sincerely telling you to accept my terms.
Or: Hopefully we won't have to have this talk again, but if we do, you better believe I'm going to bring up this conversation to point out that I assessed that “we are on the same page”.
Or: I'm not going to change. Cool? Cool.