Perusing Craigslist

So, listen. Since I just wrote two pieces that could be filed under the heading “downer”, and since I just said I was sick of crying, I decided to do a little research on Craigslist so I can write a more positive blog.
Oh man, what a great idea. First of all, I proffer a disclaimer. Not all of Craigslist can be used as a “pick me up”. In fact, over the weekend my sister reminded me to avoid the “missing pets” section on Craigslist, since it had driven her to tears. (Thanks for the hot tip, V. Now I know that perusing the section plastered with photos of missing animals, probably some posted by the sobbing children who left the door open themselves, is a bad idea when I am in an emotionally compromised state.) BUT! I propose that checking out the personals section is not a bad idea when you want a laugh.
For instance, the first post I went to was submitted by a 31 yr old Latina chick (she still gets carded, people) who is looking for another Latina woman to date on the side. Her man knows, but is not involved, so there be no drama, dig? She's looking for a femme who can fill her jeans with curves, but is not a BBW. (Oh, you don't know what a BBW is? Yeah, well I didn't either. It stands for Big, Beautiful Woman. Ha!) And finally, this tan and luscious woman specifies in all caps, NO GHETTO CHICS. I think she means “chicks”, but I could be wrong. Maybe ghetto chic is a new thing?
Also, I learned that FWB means Friends with Benefits. I probably should have known that one, but le sigh. And ladies, beware the Cougar. Yes, I am referring to an older woman seeking someone on the younger end of the spectrum, but I also mean the woman who photoshopped her face onto a cougar's body. This is real. I mean, someone actually did this. Same woman who said that she is “drug and decease free”. Decease free?